I actually can't even explain the deep impact that just my little bitty one credit practicum had on me this semester. I was in a class of first graders for the first two hours of the day every monday and wednesday. This school is about 8
The first awesome experience I've had was getting to roam around during literacy hour and help kids read. I would sit down with them and watch them struggle through reading like walking in 2 feet of mud. Let me just get this straight- It is NOT EASY. I related directly to my time in Spain this semester when reading a page of Spanish would take me an hour. JUST A FREAKIN PAGE. I understood perfectly what they were going through. It takes an intense amount of focus and mental energy. You want to skip words, take your best guess and move on, or just to stop and take a break. I got to encourage them and help them along. Saying "no- read that slower" "what sound does THIS letter make?" "Ok. Now say each sound together." "Now faster!" "You got it!"
We can learn a lot of lessons from this process. It relates very easily to life. It's EXTREMELY frustrating. It just is. Like life. It's often much easier to just cut corners and sorta do everything to try to get by, but I've learned that this is not the way to learn most effectively. The most effective way to learn is to buckle down and do it. You learn the most when it's the hardest. You grow the most when you think you can't go on. You notice the most improvement when you make yourself take the long way instead of going the short route. Effort is rewarded. Not immediately, but it pays off tremendously in the end. Ok, now away from analogies and back to my main point...
Helping kids to read was amazing to me. I LOVE being the teacher. I LOVE being there to help them. I LOVE having difficult kids give me problems and figuring out ways to relate to them, get down on their level, and instill in them a reason to try. Some kids just don't feel like they have a reason. They do what they want and no one can make them do what they don't want to. So you have to make them want to. THAT'S the part that's so fun to figure out. It's kind of a mental game- it takes psychologically evaluating kids, figuring out what they need, and figuring out how to give it to them. This whole entire process is just so exhilarating to me! Helping kids understand more and grow in life and academics. It's just what God made me to do and in these moments is when my doubts vanish and I know for sure.
Now I'll tell you one of the most amazing experiences I got to have at practicum. It makes me SOOO excited and I really think that it was a God thing. This little boy was introduced to the class one random day around the beginning of April. He wasn't expected and was just thrown into the classroom. His parents waited anxiously by the door as my cooperating teacher was called over to meet his parents. The secretary explained that they didn't speak English and asked if the student did. He nodded and was quickly handed over into my first grade classroom. I soon realized that he was indeed much more comfortable with Spanish than English as he struggled to answer the other student's questions that they posed to him. He did his best and sometimes pretended he knew what they were saying, but I knew better. I understood the stress he was going through and I wanted to make it as easy on him as I could. My heart went out to him. Being thrown into a new classroom is scary enough! Add to that, that it's the end of the year and the language barrier and you have one intensely intimidating situation for a little 6 year old boy!
I was asked to try out books with him to find his reading level and took the opportunity to start out by having a conversation with him in Spanish. We talked for a while to get him comfortable and found out that the school he transferred from was a Spanish school. He had never been to an English school before! I asked his favorite color, favorite food, and favorite animal and began to get a feel for his personality and comfort level. I also learned that his favorite subject was reading and that he was better at it in Spanish than in English but he told me that he liked reading in English. With that, we began and I quickly realized that he couldn't read English at all. I noticed that he sounded some things out with Spanish pronunciation and that made me realize that we had to start with basics. I got out the easiest book I could find and we went through the words and letter sounds. After each few words, I would have him translate it into Spanish for me to check for comprehension and eventually we started breaking things down into "what sound does this letter have?" and "What is this letter called?" When I realized he didn't even know his letter sounds or names I had him write out the alphabet. He knew it perfectly in Spanish but not in English and we worked on just letter for the rest of the class time.
Before this, I didn't think I wanted to teach English language learners, but I think it was this experience that started to open my eyes and awaken a bit of a passion for this kind of thing. Maybe it even started with the boy I tutored in Spain or the class I taught. I don't know, but God is pretty cool like that sometimes. :)
Another day, I noticed him doing his word sort. errr looking at it and pretending to do it is more like it. It occurred to me that he may not know the word "tire" and therefore not know if it goes in the "G" words "T" words or "P" words. I asked him if he knew what it was called and when he told me no, I decided to start a modified version of the activity. I started by asking him which he knew in English and he placed those perfectly. Then I asked what the objects were called in Spanish and when he answered, I told him what they were in English. He was able to place them just fine then! It frustrated me that he was given this work to do with the stress and anxiety of not even having the capability to do it! I really gave me a heart for kids like this and every time I went back, he was the student I was excited to work with and talked about on the way home. I noticed his language skills improve each time I went and the whole experience is just something I will treasure forever.
Another really big thing that happened over practicum was with a girl who I had noticed some behavior characteristics in that made me curious of what her home life was like. I noticed that she was disinterested and easily discouraged when she experienced difficulty with an assignment. One day, out of the blue she just looked up at me with her big brown eyes and said very seriously and quietly "I don't like it at home." I was taken aback and it struck me pretty hard. Of course, you can't react when a child tells you something like this, so I asked her "Why don't you like it at home?" and I didn't really expect what her response was- "My mommy hits me and my daddy hits me." I can't even really explain what happened in the pit of my stomach when I heard this.
It struck a chord so deep that I just wanted to break down and cry. But of course, this would certainly not help the child. There is nothing you can say in a situation like this. Nothing you say can fix it. Nothing can help or make it better. I said "I'm so sorry that happened to you" and asked her if she had told the teacher. She said yes so that made me feel even more helpless. Of course I asked the teacher about it afterwards and found out that yes, she had told the teacher and she had a counselor too. But that's all I know. I don't know why she's still in that situation if she's told someone. I don't know why this is still happening. And it hurts me to know. In that moment when she told me, my words felt so hollow "I'm sorry that happens to you" I mean- what????? How shallow is that compared to what I really mean? What can I do? What can I say? I just felt helpless to change this situation and it opened my eyes to something I thought would be much more hidden to me for a lot longer than it was. Children are hurt. She obviously felt like she needed to tell another person. She trusted me. She felt cared for- which is what I want. But wow. This really was something I had to think about deeply for a while and it sobered me a good deal too.
I decided- I want to be the reason a child comes to school. I want to be the one who makes them feel cared for. I want to be someone who makes them think "maybe the way I'm treated at home isn't normal. Maybe it's not supposed to be like this". THAT is my purpose in teaching the way I want to. Make the children feel loved, cherished, and cared for. Meet them where they are and make them want the best for themselves. Today was my last day and while we were saying goodbye on the way out of the class, I asked for a hug and she gave me one and then looked at me again and said "I want to come with you". Man, I can't even describe how this broke my heart. It hurt so bad. I told her "I'm sorry I want you to too! but I have to go to school now so I can't. I'll miss you so much!" But saying that and just leaving- just an adult come and gone out of her life. I hated it. It was horrible.
On a brighter note: My last day was practically perfect in every way (marry poppins quote). I started out with a guided reading lesson to give, a gift for my teacher, and 24 little notes to pass out to my first graders. I walked in an immediately was hugged by one of my most adorable tiny little girls. She said "Ms. Lindberg? Are you leaving? I don't want you to leave. I love you." It was precious. I got a few more versions of the same thing and some "We made cards for you!!" exclamations. (I had told my teacher I planned on doing some little cards for them and it's a good thing I did because I almost didn't have time) For the morning, my teacher was in a meeting so I was going to get to run the morning schedule and meeting at carpet time, but about 10 minutes in her meeting was canceled, but that's ok. It was a pretty hectic morning.
They were getting ready for their mothers day performance and they had costumes that they had to bring in/get ready/get fitted for and a dance they had learned! I helped manage the classroom and after everything settled down quite a bit before she took them to the gym to perform/practice their dance for me. They looked so good! I was actually really impressed! They did this little spanish dance with sombreros and it was absolutely adorable. Then I gave my guided reading lesson.... it crashed and burned. But I ended it quickly and decided that they can't all go well. Then I gave my teacher her gift and she had me pass out the cards I made for them as they delivered me their pictures they had drawn and written for me.
They were SO STINKIN CUTE. As I read them in the library today, words like "you're the best teacher ever" "you're pretty" "I wish you were my teacher" "I love you" and "I will miss you" were such a little boost to my day! This is why I was created. To encourage and be encouraged by these little bundles of joy and love. I love them. So much! As I hugged them goodbye and they told me they didn't want me to leave, I really realized my passion for this and all doubts everyone inevitably has about their occupation, life direction, future, ect.. all past away and I saw God's work for what it truly is. He put in me a passion and I love knowing that I'm following his way. It's a rare gift and treat to just KNOW and I'm so thankful for it. And for this experience. It's actually been life changing. Just a classroom of first graders for 2 hours twice a week. That's all it takes. :)
0% English language learners and most are of latino ethnicity. I LOVED my class. It was even more wonderful that almost all of the students spoke Spanish! (many spoke it better than English) So many wonderful things have happened in that classroom and many that have given me cause to think very deeply about. The first awesome experience I've had was getting to roam around during literacy hour and help kids read. I would sit down with them and watch them struggle through reading like walking in 2 feet of mud. Let me just get this straight- It is NOT EASY. I related directly to my time in Spain this semester when reading a page of Spanish would take me an hour. JUST A FREAKIN PAGE. I understood perfectly what they were going through. It takes an intense amount of focus and mental energy. You want to skip words, take your best guess and move on, or just to stop and take a break. I got to encourage them and help them along. Saying "no- read that slower" "what sound does THIS letter make?" "Ok. Now say each sound together." "Now faster!" "You got it!"
We can learn a lot of lessons from this process. It relates very easily to life. It's EXTREMELY frustrating. It just is. Like life. It's often much easier to just cut corners and sorta do everything to try to get by, but I've learned that this is not the way to learn most effectively. The most effective way to learn is to buckle down and do it. You learn the most when it's the hardest. You grow the most when you think you can't go on. You notice the most improvement when you make yourself take the long way instead of going the short route. Effort is rewarded. Not immediately, but it pays off tremendously in the end. Ok, now away from analogies and back to my main point...
Helping kids to read was amazing to me. I LOVE being the teacher. I LOVE being there to help them. I LOVE having difficult kids give me problems and figuring out ways to relate to them, get down on their level, and instill in them a reason to try. Some kids just don't feel like they have a reason. They do what they want and no one can make them do what they don't want to. So you have to make them want to. THAT'S the part that's so fun to figure out. It's kind of a mental game- it takes psychologically evaluating kids, figuring out what they need, and figuring out how to give it to them. This whole entire process is just so exhilarating to me! Helping kids understand more and grow in life and academics. It's just what God made me to do and in these moments is when my doubts vanish and I know for sure.
Now I'll tell you one of the most amazing experiences I got to have at practicum. It makes me SOOO excited and I really think that it was a God thing. This little boy was introduced to the class one random day around the beginning of April. He wasn't expected and was just thrown into the classroom. His parents waited anxiously by the door as my cooperating teacher was called over to meet his parents. The secretary explained that they didn't speak English and asked if the student did. He nodded and was quickly handed over into my first grade classroom. I soon realized that he was indeed much more comfortable with Spanish than English as he struggled to answer the other student's questions that they posed to him. He did his best and sometimes pretended he knew what they were saying, but I knew better. I understood the stress he was going through and I wanted to make it as easy on him as I could. My heart went out to him. Being thrown into a new classroom is scary enough! Add to that, that it's the end of the year and the language barrier and you have one intensely intimidating situation for a little 6 year old boy!
I was asked to try out books with him to find his reading level and took the opportunity to start out by having a conversation with him in Spanish. We talked for a while to get him comfortable and found out that the school he transferred from was a Spanish school. He had never been to an English school before! I asked his favorite color, favorite food, and favorite animal and began to get a feel for his personality and comfort level. I also learned that his favorite subject was reading and that he was better at it in Spanish than in English but he told me that he liked reading in English. With that, we began and I quickly realized that he couldn't read English at all. I noticed that he sounded some things out with Spanish pronunciation and that made me realize that we had to start with basics. I got out the easiest book I could find and we went through the words and letter sounds. After each few words, I would have him translate it into Spanish for me to check for comprehension and eventually we started breaking things down into "what sound does this letter have?" and "What is this letter called?" When I realized he didn't even know his letter sounds or names I had him write out the alphabet. He knew it perfectly in Spanish but not in English and we worked on just letter for the rest of the class time.
Before this, I didn't think I wanted to teach English language learners, but I think it was this experience that started to open my eyes and awaken a bit of a passion for this kind of thing. Maybe it even started with the boy I tutored in Spain or the class I taught. I don't know, but God is pretty cool like that sometimes. :)
Another day, I noticed him doing his word sort. errr looking at it and pretending to do it is more like it. It occurred to me that he may not know the word "tire" and therefore not know if it goes in the "G" words "T" words or "P" words. I asked him if he knew what it was called and when he told me no, I decided to start a modified version of the activity. I started by asking him which he knew in English and he placed those perfectly. Then I asked what the objects were called in Spanish and when he answered, I told him what they were in English. He was able to place them just fine then! It frustrated me that he was given this work to do with the stress and anxiety of not even having the capability to do it! I really gave me a heart for kids like this and every time I went back, he was the student I was excited to work with and talked about on the way home. I noticed his language skills improve each time I went and the whole experience is just something I will treasure forever.
Another really big thing that happened over practicum was with a girl who I had noticed some behavior characteristics in that made me curious of what her home life was like. I noticed that she was disinterested and easily discouraged when she experienced difficulty with an assignment. One day, out of the blue she just looked up at me with her big brown eyes and said very seriously and quietly "I don't like it at home." I was taken aback and it struck me pretty hard. Of course, you can't react when a child tells you something like this, so I asked her "Why don't you like it at home?" and I didn't really expect what her response was- "My mommy hits me and my daddy hits me." I can't even really explain what happened in the pit of my stomach when I heard this.
It struck a chord so deep that I just wanted to break down and cry. But of course, this would certainly not help the child. There is nothing you can say in a situation like this. Nothing you say can fix it. Nothing can help or make it better. I said "I'm so sorry that happened to you" and asked her if she had told the teacher. She said yes so that made me feel even more helpless. Of course I asked the teacher about it afterwards and found out that yes, she had told the teacher and she had a counselor too. But that's all I know. I don't know why she's still in that situation if she's told someone. I don't know why this is still happening. And it hurts me to know. In that moment when she told me, my words felt so hollow "I'm sorry that happens to you" I mean- what????? How shallow is that compared to what I really mean? What can I do? What can I say? I just felt helpless to change this situation and it opened my eyes to something I thought would be much more hidden to me for a lot longer than it was. Children are hurt. She obviously felt like she needed to tell another person. She trusted me. She felt cared for- which is what I want. But wow. This really was something I had to think about deeply for a while and it sobered me a good deal too.
I decided- I want to be the reason a child comes to school. I want to be the one who makes them feel cared for. I want to be someone who makes them think "maybe the way I'm treated at home isn't normal. Maybe it's not supposed to be like this". THAT is my purpose in teaching the way I want to. Make the children feel loved, cherished, and cared for. Meet them where they are and make them want the best for themselves. Today was my last day and while we were saying goodbye on the way out of the class, I asked for a hug and she gave me one and then looked at me again and said "I want to come with you". Man, I can't even describe how this broke my heart. It hurt so bad. I told her "I'm sorry I want you to too! but I have to go to school now so I can't. I'll miss you so much!" But saying that and just leaving- just an adult come and gone out of her life. I hated it. It was horrible.
On a brighter note: My last day was practically perfect in every way (marry poppins quote). I started out with a guided reading lesson to give, a gift for my teacher, and 24 little notes to pass out to my first graders. I walked in an immediately was hugged by one of my most adorable tiny little girls. She said "Ms. Lindberg? Are you leaving? I don't want you to leave. I love you." It was precious. I got a few more versions of the same thing and some "We made cards for you!!" exclamations. (I had told my teacher I planned on doing some little cards for them and it's a good thing I did because I almost didn't have time) For the morning, my teacher was in a meeting so I was going to get to run the morning schedule and meeting at carpet time, but about 10 minutes in her meeting was canceled, but that's ok. It was a pretty hectic morning.
They were getting ready for their mothers day performance and they had costumes that they had to bring in/get ready/get fitted for and a dance they had learned! I helped manage the classroom and after everything settled down quite a bit before she took them to the gym to perform/practice their dance for me. They looked so good! I was actually really impressed! They did this little spanish dance with sombreros and it was absolutely adorable. Then I gave my guided reading lesson.... it crashed and burned. But I ended it quickly and decided that they can't all go well. Then I gave my teacher her gift and she had me pass out the cards I made for them as they delivered me their pictures they had drawn and written for me.
They were SO STINKIN CUTE. As I read them in the library today, words like "you're the best teacher ever" "you're pretty" "I wish you were my teacher" "I love you" and "I will miss you" were such a little boost to my day! This is why I was created. To encourage and be encouraged by these little bundles of joy and love. I love them. So much! As I hugged them goodbye and they told me they didn't want me to leave, I really realized my passion for this and all doubts everyone inevitably has about their occupation, life direction, future, ect.. all past away and I saw God's work for what it truly is. He put in me a passion and I love knowing that I'm following his way. It's a rare gift and treat to just KNOW and I'm so thankful for it. And for this experience. It's actually been life changing. Just a classroom of first graders for 2 hours twice a week. That's all it takes. :)