Well, it's been a month. I've lived in Spain for a month. I have been in Spain for a month! Still can't quite grasp it. Although saying it every time just sounds weird, yesterday I reached a place of normalcy. Well... not NORMAL, normal, but I've started feeling comfortable and less I-know-nothing-and-I-have-absolutely-no-idea-what's-going-on-ish. After baking banana bread, the relationship with my family feels much more comfortable and normal and I don't quite feel SO awkward (although the awkwardness is still definitely there) and I can talk to them more. Poco a poco (little by little) I'm noticing changes. It's easier to understand people, the panicked feeling when buying things is slowly going away, and I have a schedule- a sense or normalcy. Also, after a weekend alone, with no one to try to please and no manners to remember or people to worry about offending, not annoying, talking enough, is this polite? am I being too loud? Should I talk? Should I.... like that. So a weekend alone was wonderful medicine for me. I ate what I wanted and didn't have to feel horrible being served all the time and having her worry about what I want, I played my violin in the living room without worrying about anyone hearing me, I played worship songs in the kitchen off my computer while eating, I did my homework in the middle of the house... and I sang to my hearts content (I've been missing singing) and after a Sunday morning service and some homework accomplished, I felt much better. More comfortable, less uneasy, less... new. I've reached a place of comfort with my friends too. I'm getting to know everyone a bit better every week and I'm loving our group more and more. I love our Bible study/ talk sessions and love hearing everyone's highs and lows for the week. I love it here, and I can't believe that already almost a third is over! Fall vacations are fast approaching and I have the excitement of Ireland to look forward to as well! Another thing that really is helping me is I'm finding a way to be intentional with my Bible reading, worship, and prayer life. Coming off of that summer long high of always being so connected has made me feel a bit dry so far this fall. I'm realizing the changes and intentionality I have to make now and this is improving everything (obviously). I enjoy singing praises in church in Spanish because it makes everything come full circle and "connect" for me. He is here, he sees me, and he loves me. And that's all I have to know for now. He'll figure out all the rest. :)
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