I am just FLOORED right now. I've got to share- So, the other day, my mom and I were talking via skype. She said to me "don't necessarily take this as something prophetic, but I came across the verse 2 cor 12:9 the other day and thought of you. Your dad and I are praying that God will do a miracle in your financial situation so you can graduate at Bethel" (this is something I've been trying to convince them of/ doubting myself- trying to trust God in through the entire year) and then the other day in church I don't remember the context, but I heard it and thought to myself- hmm is that the same verse? (may have been said in spanish) tonight, a friend quoted it in bible study and I think I heard it some other time today too. So I started thinking. Hmmm maybe you've got something to say to me God. I realized I've been starting to doubt again. I've been feeling like if I just skip along through the clouds and keep thinking everything will work out, I'll be hit with a brick of reality and not be able to go. I've been thinking its MY thoughts that will influence GOD. It's not. I'm not the one who influences him. Who am I to put my creator who knows MY futre in a BOX?! Every time I doubt, he shows me. It's like he looks at me in love and shakes his head saying "oh yee of little faith- I'll show you just how great I am. I've still got you even when you doubt." It's HIM through my WEAKNESS that his glory is shown by. I was floored. It was one of those moments when it's not a "maybe" it's a PROMISE. Such a strong promise, I was floored by it- and reminded of (hey! my first post!) when I was running to the bus to Madrid and felt it was an analogy of my financial life at Bethel. God's saying- "It's gonna be hard. It's gonna feel like you're not gonna make it. It's gonna be through MY work and it's gonna be obvious. You'll make it by the skin of your teeth (so the saying goes) and my glory will be shown in this way through your life." Why do I doubt? Who freakin cares if I skip through the clouds like nothing is wrong?! Is it?! If my creator who knows my future and is strong and mighty is in charge of me, is anything wrong??? Should I worry? CERTAINLY NOT! He who watches over me and cares about me is certainly greater than the cares of this world. Why should I worry if he is my stronghold and I put my trust in him? When I fail, is when I take my eyes off Jesus like peter. When I start to doubt and think it's my own strength that will save me- like a self fulfilling prophesy. I've just been promised- no, absolutely floored- by my creator that I'll finish out and graduate through Bethel and his power will be made perfect in my weakness. Why did I forget? Why did I doubt? I've probably terrified my parents now (sorry guys) but this is to demonstrate his glory to whoever reads this. Honestly, It's not possible for me right now. But it's possible with him who has my future in his hands. I'd like to encourage you not to worry. He will uphold you with his righteous right hand and he knows your future. He knows when you sit and when you rise, your thoughts from afar, when you were born he knew you, he knows the hairs on your head. If he cares for the sparrow, how much more does he care for you? He won't let you fall if it's him you're trusting and looking towards. His plan is always the best path for your life. You may think others are better now, but if you follow your own desires, you won't end up with the happiness he planned for you. Well, those are my thoughts. Thought I'd share um
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